Always Breathe
by The Keddster
Summary: Yes, another Always fic, but we're months behind in Australia and it still hasn't aired here. I resisted downloading it until this week and after I watched it, this just poured out of me... my take on the awesome finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes, another Always fic, but we're months behind in Australia and it still hasn't aired here. I resisted downloading it until this week and after I watched it, this just poured out of me. It's my first so be kind – no actually, be honest.**

**Disclaimer: Love 'em, but don't own 'em!**

Always Breathe

When he doesn't answer her call, she can't breathe. When she knocks on his door, freezing, dripping wet and desperate, she can't breathe. When she thinks he's pushing her away as she tries to convey her apology, her love through soft whispers and heartfelt kisses, she can't breathe. And now, as her back hits Castle's front door with a thud, what little air is left in her lungs escapes with an "oomph," and suddenly she's breathing!

Well, breathing probably isn't the most accurate adjective to use as Castle's mouth descends on hers. Gasping and panting seem to be infinitely more appropriate descriptions, and Kate is having trouble deciding whether the ragged breathing is hers or is coming from the man currently touching her _everywhere_, one leg pressed firmly between both of her own and his weight crowding her further into his door.

She's here. With him! Castle, Rick, her partner, her best friend, the man who has told her more than once that he loves her, the man who has shown patience, devotion and now, hopefully forgiveness. She knows it's probably more than she deserves and it's overwhelming and a little humbling; but as she loses all ability to think, she lets feelings take over and God, it _feels_ so good, so right and so _hot_.

His mouth and hands are all over her and the way he's looking at her reveals a plethora of emotions behind those wonderfully blue eyes. There's a hint of disbelief, and of awe. There are some things Kate can't quite read but there's definitely elation, adoration, _love_ and as those passion-darkened baby blues also reveal a hint of raw, unadulterated lust, her stomach clenches and her pulse races. Actually, maybe it's more than a _hint_ and there's every chance he's seeing that, and a myriad other emotions reflected back in her wide green eyes. What she hopes he sees is her certainty and her commitment to this… to _him_.

Their mouths are warm and moist, and like most of their movements, slightly uncoordinated, because what they're doing is so far removed from the way this day _might_ have ended that their brains are having trouble processing everything. Their lips are everywhere, their tongues insistent, and the gravity of the moment is so overwhelming, so emotionally charged and so wonderfully desperate that when Castles fingertips graze her breast, his nose nuzzles her chest and he pops her top button before brushing his lips over the puckered scar there, they both draw in a shuddering breath and momentarily pause.

With hearts pounding and lungs heaving they hesitate, but it's fleeting - at least it is for Kate. She doesn't want to stop, doesn't want Castle to stop, to doubt this, doubt _her_, and most of all she doesn't want him to go back there… to that awful day almost a year ago. She grabs his hand and brings it to her chest, presses it there as she leans in to kiss him with a soft brush of her lips over his, a gentle but insistent press of her tongue into his warm, willing mouth and eventually a gentle puff of breath as their mouths separate and she smiles. She's alive and she's not going anywhere.

Castle has always thought Beckett's smile could light up a room, melt hearts and it had certainly melted _his_ long ago, but the smile she's just given him, full of confidence, invitation and promise is something he thinks he'll remember forever. As they twine their hands together, he can't take his eyes off her face, her mouth, and when she bites her lip and tugs him away from the loft's entrance, his knees wobble just a little. He wonders if she notices, if she'll tease him later about the 'unmanliness' of his reaction.

Apart from their clasped hands, they don't touch each other again as they head for his office, nor do they break eye contact. They both finally understand Lanie's term 'eye sex' as they gaze lovingly, lustfully at each other and once they breach the threshold of the exclusively-Castle part of the loft, they crash together like waves onto a break-wall.

Castle plunges one hand into her wet, tangled hair, his thumb brushing behind her ear as the rest of his hand cups the back of her head and they kiss feverishly until their need for air forces them to slow down. They become less frantic but are still _all_ warm, wet lips, gliding tongues and nipping teeth and Beckett tugs at his bottom lip as she touches the side of his face.

It suddenly occurs to Kate that neither of them has spoken since she was pressed so thoroughly against the hard surface of his front door and as Castle backs her into one of the many book-laden shelves lining the walls of the room where Nikki Heat was born, she feels an equally hard surface against her shoulder blades and tail bone and she chuckles softly.

"What?" Castle asks as he trails a series of wet kisses down the side if her neck and across the skin just above her collarbone.

"I just realised that for someone who came here with every intention of talking, I've been decidedly non-verbal," she mumbles against his Adam's apple. "Not to mention _your _silence."

"We can talk later?" Castle says against the side of her neck and it's both a statement and a question. "Besides, you're always saying I talk too much. Maybe you should've tried this method of silencing me sooner."

"Shut up Castle," Kate says with a smirk, and to ensure his silence she covers his mouth with her own and slowly begins unbuttoning his shirt. They really do need to talk and she knows Castle must have a million questions, but for now, the fact that they are in his loft and they're undressing each other is enough.

Castle gets the hint and while her hands are busy between their bodies, he pulls her away from the bookshelf and his arms creep around her back. As their lips meet again, one large hand gently cups the back of her neck, as the other slips under the hem of her shirt. Even though the touch is tentative and the small circular movements on her lower back are gentle, almost comforting, the skin on skin contact generates a spark of electricity that elicits a soft gasp from both of them and Becket's fingers fumble with the last button of his shirt.

They make eye contact again and this time they both smile as their kiss softens, and they press their foreheads together, noses brushing Eskimo-style. Beckett is torn between leaning back into his touch or pressing herself shamelessly into the front of him and his now partially exposed chest.

Before she can decide, Castle kisses her behind her left ear and whispers, "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure about everything, but I'm sure about you and I'm sure about this… us!"

"God, you're beautiful," he blurts in a breathless whisper and pulls her towards him.

Kate isn't sure what she expected him to say in response to her admission, but telling her she's beautiful makes her breath catch and when he pulls her against him, soft curves meet solid muscle and she gasps.

"Take me to bed Castle," she says as she relieves him completely of his shirt and plants a soft kiss at the hollow of his throat.

Needing no further encouragement, Castle spins Kate around and as he propels her towards his bedroom, his chest at her back, he somehow manages to have her shirt unbuttoned by the time they stumble through the door. His lips are roaming the back of her neck as he slides her saturated shirt from her shoulders and as he splays his large, warm palm across the cool flesh of her stomach, Kate gives an involuntary shiver that's got absolutely nothing to do with being cold.

They are both torn between wanting to give into the desperate, passionate need for each other that's been four long years in the making, and taking their time to savour every second of something that's more than just unresolved sexual tension finally simmering over.

Castle spins her gently to face him and cups her cheeks in his hands. She meets his gaze and for someone as guarded as Kate Beckett, her eyes at _this_ moment are definitely the windows to her soul. Castle can see everything there, all those emotions she was hoping he'd see, but it's the way her green eyes have darkened to a rich brown that has him wanting to tumble immediately onto his bed and press her firmly into his Egyptian cotton sheets.

"I want you so badly but I don't want to ruin this by rushing," he confesses as he leans in to run his tongue over her bottom lip. "I'm just not sure how slow I can go with you looking at me like that!"

"I can't _not_ look at you, Castle," Kate says with a grin, before she parts her lips to allow him access and places both her palms to his broad chest, loving the feel of the hair there tickling her fingertips and pleased with herself at the shudder it elicits from him. She shudders a little herself as their hips brush and she feels his obvious arousal. "I can't not touch you either."

Castle swallows a moan and draws a deep shuddering breath in an attempt to temper himself, but it's all in vain the minute Beckett grazes her fingernails down either side of his chest and across his stomach, her hands coming to rest at his belt buckle.

"God," he almost whimpers as he manoeuvres them the last few feet to the end of his bed and once he feels the mattress at the back of his knees he presses his right thigh firmly between hers and crashes his mouth back to her slightly parted lips.

Barely contained passion momentarily gives way to male pride as Castle notices the way Kate's breath hitches, how her hips rock forward against his thigh and how her tongue mimics that very same movement. However, when her fingers actually tug on his belt and he feels at least one digit slip inside his waistband, his traitorous hips do the same.

Kate can sense his barely intact restraint and she doesn't want either of them to feel like they have to hold anything back – not emotions, not words and certainly not the passion they're both finally allowing themselves to give in to.

"We've held everything in for too long Castle," Kate whispers against his jaw as she tugs his belt from its buckle. "We hid our feelings, didn't say things we should have said and it's cost us both dearly! We need to let our hearts and maybe our hormones rule our heads for a while, so honesty from now on and no holding back. This is going to be perfect no matter how fast or slow we go because it's _us_, Rick. We fit, we always have and if this is over thirty seconds after you get me naked then we'll just slow it down the next time."

They both smile then, at Kate's sudden 'wordiness' and at the realisation that whilst this might be their_ first_ time, it's the first of _many_ times and they are both done waiting. Kate gently shoves Castle and he slides his hands to her waist as his butt hits the mattress. She's standing between his thighs now with her hands on his shoulders and he immediately presses a series of soft kisses to her stomach. Castle notices the bruises near her ribs and gently skims his fingers over them as he looks up, eyes questioning. She gives an almost imperceptible shake of her head and smiles, a message that she's okay and will explain later, clearly evident in her eyes. He lets it go and returns his lips to her stomach as his hands move to the clasp of her pants. With slightly tremulous fingers, Castle opens the fly and as he flattens his tongue just under her navel, he tugs the still wet garment over her hips and down her endlessly long legs.

"Boots, Castle," she mumbles, almost completely distracted by what his tongue is doing against her belly and finding herself wondering what else his tongue might be capable of.

He chuckles as he looks down at the pants around her ankles and with a surprising amount of coordination and speed, Castle divests her of her boots, socks and trousers until she's standing before him in only her sheer black bra and matching panties.

"I hate to repeat myself, but God you're beautiful," he croaks as he runs his hands from the backs of her knees, up the smooth skin of her thighs to the cheeks of her ass and this time presses his nose to her stomach, his lips just above the elastic of her panties. He can smell her - rain, cherries and arousal and the scent, along with her state of near-undress is almost more than he can take.

He hooks his thumbs under each side of her panties and slowly drags them down as Kate clutches at his shoulder with one hand and grabs a large handful of his hair with the other.

"Castle wait. Rick, I…" She doesn't get to finish her sentence because at that moment he runs his thumbs from the inside crease of each thigh, up to her hip bones as he circles her with his tongue. Kate isn't even sure what she was going to say, or why she was going to say it and as his tongue creates warm, wet magic against her throbbing centre she doesn't care about anything except that, except _him _and her words, along with her knees, fail her.

Castle feels her knees begin to buckle and with one final stroke of his tongue against her most sensitive spot, he returns his hands to the cheeks of her butt and pulls her onto his lap. Her knees are on the mattress on either side of his thighs and she's straddling his still-covered erection.

"Hi," he says with a wide, if not slightly smug grin, as their eyes meet and his male pride surfaces again at her knee-trembling reaction. He briefly considers how satisfied he'd feel if he'd made her come then and there, but she wipes the self satisfied grin off his face with one swipe of her tongue against his upper lip and the sudden downward pressure of her warm, wet centre against his now painfully hard arousal.

She chuckles as an expletive leaves his lips at her sudden movement and she begins a determined assault on his jaw, throat and clavicle. "I'm going to take your pants off now Castle," she whispers against the base of his throat and she thinks he actually whimpers.

"Jesus Kate," he gasps as she wiggles backwards on his lap, just enough to lower his zipper before she pushes him back onto the bed. The non-verbal communication they've always been so good at comes to the fore now and he lifts his hips and wriggles towards the centre of the bed as she drags his pants down his hips. She stands up briefly, pulls them over his sock-clad feet and tosses them over her shoulder with a flourish.

They're both breathing heavily and grinning almost disbelievingly because this doesn't seem quite real, while at the same time, it feels like it's where they were _always_ destined to end up. Kate takes in the sight of him, leaning back on both elbows in nothing but his socks and black cotton Calvin Klein's, which are barley containing the evidence of his arousal. Castle wants to commit this exact moment to memory and briefly wonders if it's creepy that he wishes he could take a photo. Katherine Becket, Detective Kate Beckett standing at the end if _his_ bed in nothing but her bra, grinning at him with lustful eyes like she's going to pounce on him… and then she _does!_

Well, she doesn't pounce exactly. Instead she crawls up the bed and over him until they are pressed together from lips to hips, kissing each other senseless and letting their hands begin a torturous exploration of all the places they've both fantasised about touching. Castle deftly unclasps her bra with one hand while his other hand cups her left breast, it's thumb grazing over her nipple again and again. He pauses only briefly to completely remove the flimsy garment before his hand resumes its ministrations and as he kisses her neck, his other fingers are gently caressing the length of her spine.

Kate just gives in to sensation, in awe of the sixth sense he seems to have about where and how to touch her and when he rolls her onto her back, moves his hand from her breast to her core and slides one finger inside she moans into his mouth and shamelessly tilts her pelvis towards his hand. Castle responds by slipping another finger inside her as his thumb makes wide, slow circles around her clit and he revels in the fact that she's dripping wet with arousal, for _him. _He feels her begin to tighten around his fingers and he wants nothing more than for her to come – to see her, hear her and feel her completely let go.

"You said no more holding back, Kate," he whispers against the shell of her ear, just before he takes the lobe between his teeth and curls his fingers as they move torturously in and out of her. "Come for me Kate."

Kate couldn't have stopped it then, even if she wanted to. With a strangled "Oh God" she arches off the bed, squeezes her eyes and legs closed and gets lost in the pure ecstasy. She knows he's watching her and she wants to open her eyes but it's too overwhelming, too intense and it's not until he's bringing her down, just one finger barely brushing against her folds, that she manages to look at him. She's met with a mixture of lust, longing and tenderness, and she knows if he keeps looking at her like that she might actually cry. So she breaks eye contact and kisses him, _hard!_

Normally Kate takes a while to emerge from her post-orgasmic fog and she has never in her life been ready again almost immediately, but she's never felt anything like _this_ before and she can't get enough, can't get close enough, can't kiss him or touch him enough and she feels like she's on fire within minutes. She's sprawled half on top of him now and the fingers of her right hand gently caress his chest, then splays briefly over his stomach before sneaking under the waistband of his Calvin's to stroke him. Castle huffs out another expletive as his hips buck involuntarily into her palm and Kate smiles against the side of his neck. He's warm, hard and satiny-smooth and Kate wants his underwear gone so she raises herself up to once again straddle his thighs and hastily removes the last barrier between them. She looks down, can't help herself and her eyes must widen slightly because Castle asks her if she's Okay.

"Just appreciating the view," she whispers, not convinced her voice isn't shaking as she says it. He really is quite the specimen. Not overly muscled, or ridiculously tanned or waxed, and he's maybe a bit softer around the edges than when they met, but still lean and toned and with his impressive length now lying against his belly she feels a familiar ache in her core, her pulse quickens and her mouth goes dry.

"The view from down here isn't bad either," he says with a heavy-lidded appraisal of her; from her uncharacteristically wild hair, to her bare breasts, taut stomach and creamy thighs, all the way to the tips of her purple-painted toenails.

"Less looking, more touching," Kate teases, and as if he's reading her mind, Castle pulls her mouth down to his for a scorching kiss that sets them both aflame and all the foreplay, the teasing and admiring is done.

There's no keeping them from their goal now. Castle wants to feel her under him, her legs around him and he rolls them over until he's hovering above her with his hips cradled between her thighs. Kate, who normally prefers to be on top, finds herself wanting to feel Castle's weight on top of her, craving the feeling of being pressed into his mattress as he slides his hard length inside her. She can feel him pressed between their bodies and she wants to touch him again, but at the first twitch of her hand towards him, Castle anticipates her intention and grabs her hand.

"If you touch me now, this is all over in about ten seconds," he admits with a strangled rush of breath against the side of her neck and she rocks her pelvis against him in frustration. It's almost more than he can take and as he grabs her other hand and presses both of them into the mattress on either side of her head, he shifts his hips so that his erection is pressed firmly against her and she whimpers his name.

"You do realise you can't ever call me Rick in public now," he croaks at her whimpered use of his first name. "Not unless you want everyone to know what you do to me."

Kate rolls her eyes and pretends to glare at him and there it is… the Beckett death stare – so much less intimidating here in his bed, with her hair feathered out over his pillow and her naked body stretched out beneath him. He doesn't dare laugh however.

Instead, Castle leans down and kisses her like he wants to devour her and Kate would let him if she could. Their tongues thrust together several times, eliciting moans from them both, but when Kate rocks her hips against him again, he hisses out a sudden gasp and begins to press into her. He inches in, pressing slightly forward then drawing back until he can't hold back any longer. With a long slow thrust, he slides all the way into the moist, tight heat of her body and he can't help but still for a moment. He wants to savour everything about this moment and he wants to look at her. He expects to find Kate's eyes closed but he discovers her watching him, all wide green eyes and kiss-swollen lips and he almost topples over the edge.

They begin to move together in the same instant, that non-verbal thing between them again, and Castle watches to see if she's adjusted to his invasion of her body. Kate stares back at him with equal intensity as their movements synchronise, and when she wraps those ridiculously long legs around his waist he settles deeper inside and lets go of her hands so they are both free to touch each other.

Kate clutches at his back, trying to pull him closer, deeper and when he adjusts the angle of his pelvis it changes the depth and angle of his thrusts and Kate immediately arches off the bed with the intense pleasure of it and this time it's her that hisses an expletive.

"You like that?" Castle chuckles softly into her hair and before she can respond, he does it again.

Kate bites her bottom lip, scrunches her eyes closed and nods in the affirmative, but she's determined not to give into the pleasure threatening to take her over. She wants to wait for _him_ this time but when he repeats the movement a third time she's almost beside herself. The feel of him inside her, the delicious friction of his pubic bone against her clit, the rhythm of them thrusting together is excruciating in a very good way… too good. _He's_ too good!

"Not yet Rick. I want us to…"

He knows what she's about to say but he wants to see her come undone again and he thrusts the same way as before. He can feel her clench around him and within seconds she's pressing crescent-shaped fingernail marks into the skin of his back and moaning his name as her orgasm overwhelms her. The sensation of her inner muscles twitching then tightening vice-like around him is more than Castle can take and despite his best intentions of prolonging this, his thrusts become erratic, as does his breathing and after only two or three short sharp movements he's chanting her name as he comes.

He collapses on top of her, their lower bodies still joined, their heaving, sweat-slick chests pressing together. Neither of them can speak, nor do they feel inclined to do so and the only sound in the room for several minutes is their ragged breathing as it slows. They don't move until Castle begins to worry he'll crush her and proceeds to raise his chest slightly, supporting himself on his forearms just enough to allow him to look at her. He uses both hands to gently brush her now sweat-dampened hair from her forehead and they both smile.

Castle feathers a kiss over the tip of her nose and says "You OK?"

Beckett's smile widens and she nods. "Better than OK."

"I feel like I should quote poetry or something," Castle blurts with a soft chuckle. "This feels like a moment that needs beautiful words but all I want to do is _look_ at you."

Kate's breath catches then, and her eyes sting ever so slightly with what she suspects are tears but she blinks them back and reaches up to caress his face. "Someone else's words would never mean more or be as beautiful as what you just said."

"I love you," Castle whispers and before Kate can even think about or attempt a response, he gently presses a silencing finger to her lips. "Every other time I've said it, it's been in the heat of some pretty unpleasant moment, and those words deserve better than that. _You _deserve better than that so I just had to say them again 'cos this right here, this is definitely a _moment_. One that I'm never going to forget!"

He's done it now. That threatening sting behind Kate's eyes become actual tears despite the chuckle his comment elicits. "Rick, those words meant _everything_, _every _time you said them and I'm so sorry I let you think they didn't mean anything to me. I'm so sorry for so many different reasons and…"

He silences her again with his finger and kisses his way from her tear-streaked cheeks to her mouth, but just as her lips part with a sigh and she begins kissing him back, he suddenly shifts his body and half grins, half grimaces. "Gotta move. Cramp."

They both smile despite missing the connection of their bodies and while Castle rubs at his cramping hamstring, Kate stretches contentedly despite a number of obviously fight-related aches and pains making her wince. Castle doesn't miss the signs of her discomfort but they're both distracted by a sudden, loud rumble in the room that has nothing to do with the still-active storm outside.

"Was that your stomach?" Castle asks, eyes wide.

"Apparently."

"When did you eat last?"

"I can't remember," Kate confesses and bites so Beckett-like at her lower lip.

"I was about to try and drag you into my ridiculously large bath tub to wash away our aches and pains," Castle says, his eyes clearly sending her a message that at some point he fully intends to interrogate her about the events of the day. "But right now, food first."

They climb out of Castle's large bed and begin rummaging for clothes, only to remember Kate's are still soaked and most of Castle's seem to be tangled with hers. Castle dons a pair of sweats and offers Kate a navy blue robe as he gathers their wet clothes for the washer. They head to the living room together, hands entwined just as they were when they tread this path in reverse only hours ago.

"You raid the fridge while I put these on to wash and dry," Castle suggests with a peck on her cheek as he disappears into the laundry.

Kate is pulling food from the fridge when Castle reappears and as he steals a grape, she hands him a sports drink. "For your cramps. Gotta replace those body fluids you just lost."

"What about you?" Castle asks with a quirk if his eyebrow. "We were both exchanging body fluids."

Castle meant the comment to be funny, but a sudden epiphany has him inhaling sharply and glancing panic-stricken in Beckets direction.

"What's wrong?"

"We uhh…shouldn't have been exchanging body fluids because we should've used a cond…."

"It's OK Castle," Kate interrupts. "Unless there's something infectious you need to divulge, I've got it covered."

"Yeah, but Kate, I'm the one who should've had it _covered_… literally!" Castle says as he rakes a hand roughly through his hair. "I've never been this careless, ever! And with you of all people."

"We both should've thought about it but it _was_ kind of _unexpected, and_ if that's the only time either of us has made that mistake, then we've got nothing to worry about," Kate reassures him. "Besides, it's done now… exceptionally well done I might add, so lets just bask in the afterglow."

"You are magnificent, Kate Beckett," Castle chuckles into her hair as he pulls her against him, before adding, "It _was_ good wasn't it!"

"Magnificent!" Kate laughs and then teases him as she steps towards the now food-littered kitchen counter. "I thought I was extraordinary?"

Castle laughs and throws a grape at her. They are as extraordinary together as he knew they'd be and so far, they weren't doing to badly at the _afterglow _either!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thankyou to those who took the time to read, and especially those who made the effort to review. As a fanfic 'virgin' I was completely oblivious to how overwhelming and encouraging reviews can be - your words helped coax Chapter 2 out of me. So to everyone who's stories I've read, you're all awesome! I will become an avid reviewer now, I promise! I just have to stop writing and start reading again.**

Always Breathe – Chapter 2

Beckett is wiping the counter as Castle stacks the last few things in the dishwasher and she's watching him, actually make that _ogling_ him; bare chest, bed hair, sweats riding low on his hips as he bends down, socks. Wait a minute, _socks_!

"Have you had those socks on this whole time?" she blurts out suddenly. "Even while we were…"

"While we were _what_, Detective Beckett?" Castle smirks.

Kate tries not to react to his use of her title, but Castle must notice some flicker of emotion on her face because he frowns briefly, but true to his word he doesn't pursue it. While they were eating, they agreed to just enjoy this unexpected shift in the status of their _partnership,_ at least until the morning.

So Kate says nothing about her resignation and grins as she goes back to Castles question. "While we were…"

"Having some of the most awesome sex of our lives?" Castle finishes for her.

"Not the answer I was going with, but okay." Kate laughs.

"Are you laughing because it wasn't that great or are you laughing because it _was_?"

"Actually, I'm laughing because you had your socks on the _whole_ time."

"Well as I recall, you were the one in charge of removing my clothes and apparently in your haste to get me naked, you forgot my socks." Castle says with a customary twitch of his eyebrows.

"And you just thought you'd leave them on?"

"In my own defence, I was kind of distracted at the time." Castle offers by way of explanation and as he steps towards her, his voice lowers an octave as he recounts, "You see, a dripping wet but very _hot_ woman had her lusciously long legs wrapped around me at the time. I wasn't really thinking with by _big brain."_

Castle doesn't even need to look at Kate to know she's rolling her eyes, but she's also laughing and he suddenly realises it's been a while since he's heard her laugh like that. He doesn't want to interrupt it, but his need to kiss her gets the better of him and he pulls her to him, planting a long wet kiss on her lips.

She responds immediately and flings her arms around him, returning his kiss until they break apart, desperately in need of oxygen. It's while they're catching their breath that Castle yanks on the sash of her robe and watches as it falls open. Kate sees his chest heave and his pupils dilate at the sight of her and _her_ physical reaction to this alone is almost as immediate, with a tightening low in her belly and an eruption of gooseflesh across her skin.

When she notices how very poorly his sweats are disguising another of _his_ physical reactions, Kate is overcome by the need for skin against skin. She presses her nakedness against him, loving the feel of his chest hair against her breasts and his 'snail trail' against her belly. Some girls like bums, some like legs, six-packs or biceps, but Kate has always had a weakness for snail trails and Castle's is certainly no exception. She loves the way the narrow strip of hair begins just below his navel and disappears provocatively under his waistband, hinting at what lies beneath; except in this case, she now knows exactly what's under there and it's fairly impressive.

She runs her fingers from his navel to the front of his sweats, smiling at the 'scratchy' sound the hair makes underneath her fingernails. Castle gasps at her touch and promptly decides that making out in this part of his loft is officially over. Once he suggests they go back to bed, Beckett is immediately leading the way and with her robe still open, she has it off in a millisecond, a puddle of fabric on his office floor.

"Can I take a shower, Castle?" she asks as they enter his bedroom.

"Only if I can join you," he says with a wink.

"Just give me a minute first, OK?" she requests and softly closes the door, leaving Castle stunned by her lack of resistance, not even a _look._

Castle straightens the tangled mess that is his bed while he waits, and once he hears the water running he sheds his sweats and makes his entrance.

Kate's back is to him as he steps in behind her and he notices more bruises and a couple of abrasions. He almost has to bite his tongue in two not to react or ask her about them, but he can't stop himself from touching one or two. She doesn't wince or give any indication that he's hurting her, but his touch is feather-light and therefore shouldn't be painful; in fact his touch appears to be having a very pleasant effect on her.

As he runs his fingertips over her warm, wet back she sighs softly and closes her eyes, just enjoying the warmth of the water and the heat of his touch. When be begins trailing kisses across each shoulder she leans back against his chest and reaches over to cup the back of his head, acutely aware of another part of his body pressing firmly against the small of her back. He kisses her neck then, nipping at her gently with his teeth before soothing the bites with his tongue. Each earlobe and both sides of her neck receive equal attention and this alone has her breathing hard and her pulse racing, but when he runs both his palms over her hip bones, across her stomach and up to cup her breasts, her breath hitches, her heart rate amps up another notch and she's certain Castle can feel it because just at that moment he laves his tongue against the pulse on the right side of her neck.

"Turn around," he whispers against her skin.

She does it without hesitation and they make eye contact for the first time. Their gazes lock, silently communicating a myriad of emotions – less disbelief now, but still wonder, adoration, forgiveness and of course need. As their eyes simultaneously drift down, both their lips turn upwards to form identically lecherous grins and it's not until Beckett's gaze reaches Castle's feet that the grin evolves into a chuckle.

"Why have you _still_ got those socks on?"

"I've always been a little shy about being completely naked," he smirks.

"So of all the _bits _you could keep covered, you decide that your feet are the only thing you'll leave up to my imagination?"

"Actually, _you _decided that when you left my socks on earlier," he reminds her.

"Well, is now a good time to admit that your feet have _never_ _featured_ on any of the occasions I've imagined you naked."

"Ha! There it is ladies and gentleman… Katherine Beckett has fantasised about me naked!"

"Smug isn't a good look on you, Castle." Kate responds, her face serious but there's humour in voice and her eyes. "And it's not like you've never imagined _me_ naked. You've even admitted it."

"Ah, but you forget… I've seen you naked before today." Castle reminds her and Kate's mind drifts back to the time her apartment blew up around her while she was in the shower and Castle rescued her from her bathtub, naked and singed.

"Ugh. I _so_ knew you peeked." Kate says, folding her arms across her chest, trying her best to appear indignant. Her stance is all for show however and without warning, she's dropping to her knees and removing the sodden wool from his feet.

Castle chuckles and wiggles his toes dramatically, "Do you like what you see?"

It isn't until Beckett answers with a husky whisper, "Yeah, I do," that he realises they aren't talking about the same body part.

She's kneeling in front of him, her head at waist-level and she definitely isn't looking at his feet. His eyes drift closed, his breathing becomes rapid and shallow, and he's fairly certain a swarm of butterflies has taken up residence in his stomach. He feels her fingertips drift to the front of his thighs and his quadriceps tense in response; otherwise he's completely incapable of purposeful movement.

Kate is fully aware of the effect she's having on him and she loves it. Being on her knees for a man has made her feel vulnerable in the past and only a select few have ever had the privilege, but here with Castle, she feels the complete opposite. He's at her mercy and they both know it!

After a torturously long minute Castle thinks he might have actually stopped breathing because it's not until Kate takes his tip into her mouth and flattens her tongue on the sensitive underside that he heaves in an enormous breath and loudly croaks out a single word.

"Fuck!"

Kate pauses for a second and Castle looks down to see her smiling around him in response to his very vocal reaction; it's probably the hottest thing he's ever seen. And then her lips close over him again, frustratingly gentle at first and it's sweet torture. She ups the tempo gradually, warm wet suction alternating with the pressure of her tongue and occasionally her teeth. He's convinced he's in heaven.

Castle doesn't know what to do with his hands so he clenches his fists at his sides and as he resists the urge to thrust his hips towards her, his body goes as rigid as the part of his anatomy that's currently in _Kate Beckett's mouth_.

"Relax Castle," she says suddenly, pausing briefly to look up at him. She grins before deliberately biting her lip because she knows it drives him crazy and he wonders if he's now destined to get a hard-on every time she tugs at that lip with her teeth because he knows he's never, ever going to forget _this._

"You're kidding me." Castle says in a strangled whisper.

"Nope," she responds as she presses her open palm against his belly and pushes him back a half-step until his back is against the tiled wall and when her tongue runs the length of him before taking him deeply into her mouth, he's infinitely grateful for the support. He moans loudly and can't help it when his hips thrust forward just a little, and once the hand on his stomach moves to join her mouth he knows that this is about to be all over.

"Kate," he croaks.

Without missing a beat she hums an "Hmmmm?" in response, and the vibrations that result just about tip him over the edge.

"Kate," he says again, this time taking a loose fistful of her hair with the intention of encouraging her upwards.

She isn't cooperating though and presses a hand back over his stomach to keep him still, increases to tempo of her other hand, sucks hard and circles him again with her tongue.

"Kate, I'm gonna… Oh God!" Castle manages to whimper as he slumps back against the tiled wall, clutches tighter at her hair, and comes harder than he ever has in his life.

Kate barely has time to lean back slightly and look up before Castle's legs give way and his back slides down the wall until he's sitting on the floor of his shower.

She smiles a self-satisfied smile as she looks at him… head back, mouth slightly open, eyes closed, legs stretched out along the floor and back against the wall. It's not until Beckett speaks that he manages to open his eyes.

"I didn't kill you did I?" She chuckles. "And don't say you've died and gone to heaven because that would be _too_ clichéd, even for you."

"Right now words, and my legs apparently, fail me." Castle responds, his voice aquiver.

"Bought you to your knees huh Castle… well, your ass actually!" Kate smirks and she's just about to stand and offer to help him up when he moves suddenly, a minor miracle in his current state, and drags her onto his lap.

He laughs at the very un-Beckett-like shriek she lets out, kisses her hard on her very talented mouth and defends himself by saying, "Must have been under the hot water too long. Made me dizzy."

"Yeah Rick… that'll be it!" Kate laughs before elbowing him gently in the ribs. "Ya big girl."

They have to get up then because the hot water is starting to cool, so they quickly lather and rinse before shutting the taps off. Castle gets out first, grabbing a towel for himself before wrapping Kate in the most enormous towel she's ever seen. He uses it to pull her against him, kissing her soundly and when they break apart Kate yawns suddenly.

"I think I'm the one who's supposed to need a nap after what just transpired in my shower."

"Huh! I'm the one that did all the work."

"Touché!" Castle chuckles as he takes her hand and leads them both back into the bedroom.

Beckett yawns again and this time it's infectious and Castle stifles one of his own.

"Lets just go to sleep Castle." Kate suggests as she sits on the edge of the bed, surprising them both.

He doesn't say anything, just pads over to the other side of the bed, climbs in and settles onto his back with a contented sigh. By silent mutual agreement Kate tucks herself into his side, slings an arm over his torso and intertwines one leg with his.

"You need anything?"

Beckett shakes her head and sighs contentedly, "Only you, Rick."

"You've got me Kate," he whispers and drops a soft kiss onto the top of her head. "You've _always_ had me."

* * *

Kate startles awake and is initially disoriented. The first familiar thing she notices as her brain cycles into complete wakefulness is the smell; a spicy, woodsy scent that is one hundred percent Rick Castle and it prompts a deluge of memories from a few hours ago to infiltrate her consciousness before she even opens her eyes. The second thing she notices is water running and as her lids flutter open, she sees Castle emerging from the ensuite, in all his naked glory – now sans socks.

"Hey," they say in unison before Kate asks, "What time is it?"

"Almost 4:30." Castle answers once he checks his bedside clock.

"We've only been asleep for three and a half hours. Why are you awake?"

"Bathroom; and once I was in there I remembered I hadn't brushed my teeth. Now I'm wide awake."

"What's your excuse for being up before the sun?" Castle asks as he crawls back into bed. "No don't tell me, you always get up at this time to run five miles."

"Nope, that alarm doesn't go off 'til five," she teases and sits up. "Can I borrow a toothbrush? Now that you've mentioned teeth I can't stop noticing how furry mine feel."

"There's one by the sink," he grins boyishly. "Figured you'd want one in the morning."

Beckett thinks that's sweet, but she has no intention of sharing this detail with Castle and she's absolutely never going to own up to the very pleasant stomach flutter she is currently experiencing as a result of his thoughtfulness. She smiles to herself as she heads to the bathroom and she can't believe that after all that's happened in the past twenty four hours, she's wide awake after only a few hours sleep, at 4:30 in the morning no less.

Castle is still wide-eyed in the light of his bedside lamp when Kate emerges from the bathroom, and when she lifts the sheet to crawl in next to him, she can't help but notice something else is _up. _The corners of her mouth twitch north at the sight; it's barely even the hint of a smile but it doesn't go unnoticed.

"See something amusing?" Castle asks.

"Amusing probably isn't the word I'd use," she answers and stretches provocatively against him.

"What word _would _you use?" he whispers as be rolls to his side to face her.

"I know words are your thing Castle but right now, I don't think we need any," she suggest in her best bedroom voice as she mirrors his position and presses herself closer.

Any further conversation is abandoned as Castle leans in and kisses her softly, brushing his tongue against her bottom lip. Kate's lips part immediately and their tongues meet to begin an already familiar dance that ignites the flames in both of them. Tender kissing and gentle caressing quickly morphs into a furious melding of hot, wet mouths and purposeful determined hands that only stoke the fire further.

Kate is going out of her mind as Castle, for the second time, kisses a path from her nipple to her navel as his large fingers caress the sweet spot deep inside her that most men can never find. Several minutes ago it was her right breast receiving the attention of his tongue and teeth, and now it's her left. When he reaches her navel this time however, he descends further until his tongue partners his probing fingers at her now hypersensitive core. When he firmly circles her clit she almost arches off the bed and hisses a sharp intake of breath.

"Too much?" Castle whispers against her folds. "Not enough?"

"Both"

"Want me to stop?"

"God, no."

"Okay," he whispers again and changes the pressure of his tongue until the soft rhythmic rocking of her hips tells him when it's perfect.

He builds her up until she's clutching at either side of his head, clenching her internal muscles and moaning his name in time with the movement of his fingers but when her orgasm finally hits she's surprisingly non-vocal, only whimpering when he slides his fingers out of her.

Castle shifts up the bed after only a minute or so and when they're eye to eye Kate lifts her head and kisses him, the taste of her own arousal on his lips. For the first time in her life she finds it a turn-on and she presses her hips upwards until she feels his arousal twitch against her.

He smiles down at her as he shifts just enough to press briefly against her entrance and thrusts one long sure stroke until he's completely inside her. Her eyes widen at the sweet shock of the movement and then they drift closed as their bodies start moving. They match each other thrust for thrust, spectacularly in sync, building up to the fast-approaching finale. Kate briefly entertains the idea of trying to manoeuvre Castle onto his back so she can 'take the driver's seat' but their rhythm is so perfect and it feels so damn good she doesn't want to ruin it.

Their tempo increases and Kate clutches at his back and hips, rakes her nails roughly over his skin and encourages him harder and deeper. They both feel a simultaneous tightening; Kate's low in her belly and Rick's in his groin. Castle can tell she's close but he's worried he's closer, and he's about to slide a hand between them when he feels her go rigid beneath him. She cries out a series of unintelligible words, intermingled with the odd "Yes," and "Oh God."

Kate is blown away by the intensity of what she's feeling and she's blissfully riding wave after wave as they turn their focus to his pleasure. He's thrusting erratically and savouring the way she's deliberately tightening _her_ muscles around his entire length, when his powerful, shuddering climax rips through him.

They're both boneless, sated and completely exhausted as they gradually drift back down to earth, each alone with their thoughts as they settle into a comfortable tangle of arms and legs and pull the covers up over their rapidly cooling bodies.

"Get some more sleep." Castle whispers, and softly swipes his index finger down the bridge of her nose.

"We'll talk in the morning, I promise." Kate mumbles softly, knowing that like hers, his thoughts have drifted to the conversations they are yet to have. She feels a subtle tensing of his body against hers and she lifts her head slightly to look at him. "Are you doubting this?"

He shrugs and lowers his eyes, and she realises he doesn't want her to read the truth behind them – that he's not sure he can trust _her. _

"You have every right to doubt me after the way I've treated you; pushing you away, lying to you and never letting you know where you stand, but I promise that from now on I stand with _you_," she says as tears sting her eyes. Her choice of words is intentionally poignant, _Roy's words, _spoken by her at his funeral a year ago and their meaning is not lost on Castle. "I want you to stand with me, Rick."

Castle's own eyes suddenly sting with tears, but he smiles… "Always."

* * *

**A/N: Their inevitable conversations (with each other, with Alexis, Martha and of course Lainie) are swirling around in my head, so there might be another story or two in me...**

**We'll see!**


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